Go With The Flow

I always go with the flow - my life has no direction cause there is no where I have to get to.

Anyway there isn't anything wrong with going with the flow if you have no goal but at some point in time gwtf needs to stop. Not that you will only end up in bad places if you gwtf or anything, it's just that I think it's important to find a destination that you need to get to. Getting there or not is secondary. Important but secondary.

Anyway I still got a little more time (because I have given myself a little more time) to go with the flow, so I will enjoy it while I can.

And obviously I am not going to bitch cause only good things happen majority of the time.

Since you're first...

there obviously is something there.

Especially since there are other more interesting places to be.



We see it, cause it's obvious.

Familiar Strangers No More...

So I met my first blog buddy - yayyyy.

Met up with Prerna today - she was kind enough to come all the way to where I work (she had no issues with the distance though I am sure she wasn't thinking that way on her way back hehe).

It was great meeting up. I did maybe 5x of a talking - thankfully she asked for some gyan about what I do so it wouldn't seem that much.

Hopefully this we will meet up often. I owe you a coffee Prerna - if you are at our office again, you will be served the 'special' coffee I drink.

Btw I had to ask you a question and I forgot - why is it PK?

@ Cosmic - neither of us scared the other off but we are wondering about what kind of crazy person you are :p HAHA

Light Years...

Distance and time....time and distance....


I miss not seeing you around.

I miss not hearing your opinion on something.

I miss your stupid jokes and wise ass comments.

I miss how we made fun of each other.

I miss bumping into you at the most unexpected time.

I miss your attitude.

I miss how we fought for each other.

I miss trying to solve your problems.

I miss creating problems for you.

I miss the opportunities you gave me.

I miss hearing you laugh at all my jokes.

I miss being part of the group.

I miss bitching with you.

I miss sharing homework and showing you the test answers during the test.

I miss how you encouraged me.

I miss our brain-storming.

I miss how we always cancel plans we make.

I miss the good old days.

How would I be who I am if it wasn't for you?


I miss a lot of people I have grown apart from. Some have moved to different locations/cities. Some I have drifted from because it has been so long since we have met. [That's why the post is title light years - time and distance both]

Some time of course the distances aren't necessarily physical. People grow apart with change in outlook (growth).

Lots of people come into our lives and then aren't part of our lives anymore but everyone leaves a mark.

[This post in not about just one person. The "I miss" happens thanks to school friends, college friends, ex-colleagues, teachers. I miss (some of) my teachers a lot]

Sore throat :(

Nice to be considered...

Thanks BD for the pouch. Thanks GM for the earrings. (Also thanks AG for multiple gifts from 'exotic' places).

I don't like accepting gifts, but this stuff was "small enough" and also if I created a scene I would get jhaped royally in front of everyone hehe.


Whatever said and done, it's nice to be considered.

:)

Thank you.

(Next time though please don't get me anything - I seriously don't like accepting stuff).

O Mahiya - yeh dil mein tu...

Song from Dus Kahaniyan.

Totally kicks ass.

Love the whole 'O mahiya yeh dil mein tu' bit.


P.S. - I love having nicks just like that when songs / lines from songs are not famous (yet). People start asking me what's up, what's wrong with me, who I am talking about, etc etc etc. It's totally funny at times and I write such nicks on purpose.

Another Oil Spill :@....

The :@ creates an emoticon - angry face.

I can't understand why nothing substantial is getting done to stop oil spills. I mean everyone knows that these cause lots of damage to the environment, so why is it that we can build in more safety to see that oil spills don't happen the way they are happening right now. Sure you can stop a disaster from happening. Ships will break, they will sink, but I am sure a few more measures can be added to try and prevent so much damage.

I mean what are shipping companies not bothered about how much oil actually gets wasted? This is one of the reason, I keep praying that oil prices keep increasing. Oil should be so dear that any leakage or loss would be unbearably expensive and therefore systems / technologies, would come into place to prevent wastage.

Which one...

The other day, my mom asked me which of my cousins was my favourite cousin (it was not a random question).

I realize that while it wasn't hard to list my cousins out in terms of preference, it was hard admitting the preferences because on certain things you are suppose to be non bias and if you do have a bias, it must not show.

Anyway mom didn't judge obviously because she believes you can have a list / levels of liking, but I still hated naming names (she wouldn't let me go till I told her my order).

I know I hate doing this stuff - why can't we just have like v/s dislike? I mean I can rank movies, I can rank TV shows, I can rank songs, I can rank subjects (and say it all out loud) but ranking people in some order and then stating it is just wrong.
My issue isn't with having judgments and notions about people, it's about partiality.

I don't know the whole experience was icky (distasteful)

To Tarana

Well honestly I don't know what is wrong with this woman - no one confides in my so much - hehe maybe I am just available online at odd times when she is bursting to say something to someone ... anyone

:)

And if she isn't confiding and making up stories - well they really are stories. Total masala filled - those types that would be super hit with the Indian masses. Of course some of it sounds Hollywoodish too - Julia Roberts, Richard Gere (not pretty woman).

I have never seen any woman burn so many matches, in the style she did, 'just like that'. I am sure at some point in her life she will start a major fire somewhere.

I miss my favourite techie (hehe I never had to worry about giving instructions in English very fast and also didn't have to worry about doing too many tests).

Here's to Tarana (enjoying new found freedom in Canada).

Ill :(...

That's ill and not 3 or something.

I get a fever at least 3 - 4 times a year - sometimes due to exertion / exhaustion and also because I can't adapt to changes in weather very well. So if it is very hot and suddenly starts getting cold, I am sure to come down with something.

Yesterday was different though and it was freaky. Don't know what happened but I felt like hell. Why it was scary was because yesterday felt like the days, some 8 years ago when I was VERY ill.

I travel by train and climbing up/down stairs to get to the platform/out of the station is an everyday thing. Yesterday I was huffing and puffing. While you could look at me and say I look like a person who would huff and puff after a few flight of stairs, I usually don't. My breath doesn't catch that badly. Feeling as sick as I felt with I had malaria so many years ago was very scary.

Made me realize though that being mentally 'psyched out' is worse than being physically afflicted.

Thankfully I am feeling much better today.

No More...

I have already written a post about alcohol and drinking it before but am not going to provide a link because you aren't missing out on much.

What 'no more' is about, is my 'social drinking'. Sure it is as good as non existent, seeing as I am rarely social, but still 1 drink once in every 3 months is not cool.

I have decided not to take alcohol again.

I am not trying to fit in. Jeez if I were ever doing that I wouldn't be the way I am. The whole idea of taking the drink is to make the people throwing the party, feel a little happy and more over to stop people from nagging me to take a drink. So I usually end up taking one mild drink throughout the evening. But it is not worth it.

Before I agree to going to a party next time, I am going to make it clear that I will not drink and that people around me must not force me to.

I miss those days...

The other days I saw Zoom online but with a status of away and I had this "aching in my heart" (lol that line is too funny and I don't think I'll ever find a more appropriate place to say it). I wanted to ping him and start a convo full of nothing but rubbish talk, to which I would either hear 'waah bhai waah' or some other dumb line he would come up with. I realized I missed my bolt gang so much (aching heart because of this not because I couldn't talk crap with zoom)...missed spending hours on chat doing totalllllllll time pass with all 'us (us not USA) desis'.

I miss those days terribly. This post is a tribute to the funkiest, craziest, coolest, most retarded, online group I have ever been a part of.

Thanks (in no particular order) - trig, rush, nidhi, ghin, (nidhi and ghin had totally filmi romances going on back then - it was soooo cool) keerat, monish (mr bong), rohit (apples from shimla), zoom bhai (not bhaiya but like gangsta bhai), tj, degen, subho, josh, arpita, bhrama, and all those I can't remember now (cause it has been 4 - 5 years). We had some really good time. Haha I don't think I will ever again have a 'joint convo' with 7 other people all in one window.

Those were some really good times. Thanks guys - you all rock (okay so maybe not all but a lot, okay fine so maybe not a lot but at least a few. hehe couldn't resist).

[I just got to know today (since I haven't logged on in over a year and a half) that Bolt.com filed for bankruptcy and has shut down - RIP Bolt.com: Social networking before we knew what it was - and really it was social networking before we actually knew what it was]

Grow Up

"Don't you realize that people look up to you? Or if they don't already, they will someday. What sort of an example are you setting?"

Why is change so tough?...

Ever realized how badly you need to change something about yourself but find yourself totally incapable of doing the same?

I feel empowered...

Very empowered actually.

Finally got a designer and write in the team :)

3 book...

The other day I was reading 3 books different books -

Next - Michael Crichton
Small is the new big - Seth Godin
iCon - Steve Jobs

Waiting to see which one I actually finish. Next will be done for sure cause it's a Michael Crichton novel.

Seth Godins book was very interesting in the first few pages but after reading about 7 or 8 I thought about abandoning it but realized it is giving me really insightful tit bits every few pages. So I figure I might as well read a few more.

iCon will be my first real biography of sorts. I had started with Lee Iacoca's book many years ago but back then none of it mattered, interested or made sense to me. Now that I am 1) older 2) working, maybe these sort of book will be just the thing I need.

Lets see how much gets done and how soon.

Hate how wonderful pics look on a camera display but look so average on the computer...

What A Brilliant Day....

Mannnnnnnnnnnnnn how I wish all days were like Saturday. It's seemed like "the universe was working" to give me a GOOD day.

I actually counted 12 things that were so great about it.

1. Got a novel to read again - it's been a while.
2. Gautam set a record at work (Which everyone is expecting me to beat - NOT HAPPENING but will still try)
3. Went to Snack Shack after ages
4. Discovered the greatness of Open Bake
5. Found and ate brilliant tiramisu
6. Played the Amazing Race (thanks Arytch)
7. Watched Bhool Bhulaiya that too in the comfort of the conference room.
8. Caught a bus to the station (after months of giving into my cabaholism).
9. Chatted with Cosmic (1st time).
   

There were 3 more points but I can't remember them now. But it was such a great day - so many things seemed so happen so nicely.

Gautam did say 'You noticed how none of your 'highs' were work related' lol. Thanks Gautam I hadn't realized till that point.


Don't get me started about Monday though....

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/07/photogalleries/seven-wonders/index.html

This is a page on National Geographic of the New 7 Wonders and the Ancient 7 Wonder of the world. Some of the pictures here are so brilliant.

The one below has the most amazing mix of colours. While I understand photos can be edited, I am sure that on at least one day of the year, this view of the would truly look like it does in the picture.




The amount of beauty all around is just shocking at times.

It is worth checking out more photos on NGCs website.

........

Nothing is also good sometimes.

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in 1st, sometimes the 1st thing you want never comes....

A line from the song 'Strange and Beautiful' by Aqualung.

The song is strange and beautiful too. Don't know by reminded me of 'A Midsummer Night’s Dream' (at least I think that is the one). Maybe it was written for that play (/movie) or was inspired by it.

Anyway the line is brilliant - happens only too often.

But the beauty and strangeness of it is that life goes on and we move on and face more instances of - 'the last thing you want comes in 1st, the 1st thing you want never comes'

Mad World - Gary Jules

This is the song I had heard on CSI (not Goin' Nowhere by Changing Faces - shame on me - I searched INCORRECTLY). Song totally blows my mind away. Love the line - The dreams in which I am dying are the best I've ever had.


Lyrics -

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad World
Enlarging your world
Mad World.

Happy Diwali


[I know it's still a day or two away, but still - I'm in a festive mood already]

Not into celeb gossip but this time I really want to know....

Watched Jab We Met and I am dying to know what actually happened between Shahid and Kareena. While it is none of my business and curiosity killed the cat, I still think a great suspense is a great suspense and would only warrant inquisition to people who know about the issue (everyone).

Everyone thinks Shahid doesn't look the type to cheat on Kareena and that it must be she who cheated on him. But I remember the episode of Koffee with Karan on which the 2 of them were and Kareena seemed totally crazy about Shahid. Could be that she is loud mouthed and more open and that he is the reserved kind but I still felt that Kareena was 'more in love' with Shahid than the other way around.

What would be a real damper would be if the split was mutually decided - not because someone was cheating or because someone was falling out of love. (I know I sound like a real bitch but everyone loves some masala and also everyone loves to believe that fantasies do come true and if they don't it's because we don't want them).

Anyway I believe everyone deserves peace of mind, so I wish they both do have that if nothing else.

Party Time...

2 parties in 2 days- that's a record for me.

Happy Halloween

The funkier a festival, the more popular it is.

I wonder why...

It has been such a 'hazy' day.


Literally.


No seriously I mean a hazy day in a literal sense.

I wonder what causes the day to be this 'foggy'. Some of my assumptions would be -
1) Pollution in the air.
2) Cloud formations - filtering how much sunlight gets received.
3) Temperature and other factors in the weather (water vapour, etc).

Makes for a good day to be out even in the middle of the afternoon. Unfortunately most of us end up being indoors on beautiful days because of work.

Watch out for...

Jaaniye (a song) from Dus Kahaniyan.

If you would like to listen - http://www.lyricsmasti.com/song/5131/get_lyrics_of_Jaaniye-Jaaniye.html

0....

Just like that...

Was trying to change my nickname and selected all the text to delete but hit the 0 key before I could hit delete.

For meaning - 0 is not what I am getting in my college exams.

Exhausted...

Not Studying

:(

Man I find it soooooooooooooo tough to study now that I am working.

Really painful.

Food for thought

Don't you hate how it NEVER ends

:(

http://sunisha-v-k.blogspot.com/2007/10/whats-in-name.html

A post on Sunisha's blog about 'whats in a name'.

So that you can just click - http://sunisha-v-k.blogspot.com/2007/10/whats-in-name.html

I thought the post was hilarious.

I thought having 2 names was painful (you know one official name and one pet name that the whole family calls you of sorts thought it's a little more complicated in my case) but obviously having a "different" name can be more painful.

there is a reason...

everyone thinks you're a bitch...




and it's cause you are one.

Training...

Finally some training coming my way on 'how to manage people'.

Funny thing about stuff like training is that so much of what you hear / see / experience in a program is stuff you already know - at some level or the other.

The other thing about training is that you have to do honestly in any training program is accept some thing about yourself which you realize.

And you also end up realizing things you didn't know about yourself.

Also helps to have an outsiders perspective - so I always feel like training should have some element of personal feedback.

Derailed

Saw a movie by that named (review of it is here) but it's my nick cause I actually realized how much I loved the word.

Not that I love getting 'derailed' but it's one of those impactful words - says so much in so little.

"there is never a second chance to make a first impression"...

http://61226.com/share/hk.swf

Oh I love HK - anytime of the day :)

The sea-front is totally brilliant.

To visit the page, click - http://61226.com/share/hk.swf


The link in the post title will not work as a post title link will bring you back to the post

So Weird

Home at 8:30. (Actually got home 20 mins ago)

Usually this is the time I leave office. (I need a live so badly).

Anyway decided to hitch a ride with a friend cause 'the city is on high alert' after bombs being found at Andheri.

Gooooooo India

So happy we won the 20 20 World Cup.


Will be so much happier if the team can play like this at least 70% of the times they play if not more.

Mauja Hi Mauja

Totally love the song. It does sound like a copy of an english song but can't figure which one.

Some how this is one of those songs that make you feel like getting up and dancing (or at least moving a little).

It's from the movie Jab We Met

What a match...

Totally kick ass.

Now India and Pakistan in the final. For me of course India in the final is the reallllllllll kick.

All so wrong...

So very wrong...

Saathiya...

Song from Darling.
Totally love it.
Music is good. Lyrics are okay. The way it's sung is excellent. Especially the saathiyaaaa bit at the end of the ummm verse or whatever it's called.

The movie has 3 music directors - Himesh Reshammiya, Pritam Chakraborty, Prasana Shekhar (which I find pretty strange and therefore mention it).


Lyrics -

Saathiya…. Saathiyaaa..aa.aa -2

want you baby, need you baby

ishq bedardi mujhko pata hai
isaki chaahat mein milati saja hai - 2
bekaraari mein mar hi na jaau
na samajh ko main kaise samajhaau
dil hai ki maanata nahi hai
bechaini jaanata nahi hai
main karun kya bata zaraa saathiyaa.. ha - 2
saathiyaaa.. saathiya..aa..aa..aa… saathiyaa..aa

need you baby, want you baby

narm khwaabon ki baahon mein jaagengi aankhein
garm yaadon ke saaye mein bitengi raatein - 2

yaad toh aayegi, bekhudi chhayegi
dard de jaayegi, tanhaayi tadpaayegi

dil hai ki maanata nahi hai
bechaini jaanata nahi hai
main karun kya bata zaraa saathiya.. hoo - 2
saathiyaaa.. saathiya..aa..aa..aa… saathiyaa..aa

need you baby, want you baby

saare aalam pe aahon ka chhaayega jaadu
apane hi jazbon pe toh hoga na kaabu - 2

zakhma yeh tho jigar ho gaye sau asar
na rahe ye khabar bechida hoga safar

dil hai ki maanata nahi hai
bechaini jaanata nahi hai
main karun kya bata zaraa saathiya - 2
saathiyaaa.. saathiya..aa..aa..aa… saathiyaa..aa

you messed up my day, you liar

I hate when people lie to me.

What a day...

Learned so many things today with just a couple of incidents. Sure they were major incidents but still... Also came to question so many things.

• No matter how solid a wall, enough of battering will bring it down.
• Will a species keep surviving if a few fundamental elements are intact and strong? What leads to extinction? How easily would extinction occur when basics start falling apart?
• Knowing and accepting is different from knowing and being in denial.
• All the burden of the world will fall onto your shoulders at some point in time.
• Not all loses are equal.
  
• Who do I talk to? No one. Who should I talk to? I don't know.
• Our lies have a way of catching up with us.
• Having 'contacts' might just be as important as it is cool.
• Things that are super great today might turn sour tomorrow. Very sour.
• Those you think of being 'good for nothing' types can actually end up being the ones who talk the most sense.

I soooo badly miss my old self. If only we could turn back time. I want to be the person I was 6 years ago.

Aloof..free floating...no care in the world....content....

i know i am dharti pe bhoj sorry but u cant ever change me!

by popular demand

NISHA OBVIOUSLY.

and key says -

dude...wats with ur nick.....its making me cry....

Lost my phone...Need your number...

Ya I didn't have a backup of my phone book.

Was stupid enough to believe that I won't loose my phone :(

Old is ...what I have

Back to my 3310.

And what I am telling everyone is that I might end up using it a couple of months too, cause my biggest problem with my phone before Jan of this year was that my phonebook was full after deleting numbers every week.

Now that my phone got lost and I am back to my Nokia 3310 with a new SIM card, I have no phone numbers lol so my previous problem doesn't exist anymore.

P.S. I hate that I can so easily afford to buy a new phone. The pinch of losing my (relatively new) mobile isn't hurting too much.

Lost my phone...

:(

Stranger

There's a stranger in my life.

Song by Hillary Duff.

The song is pretty cool. I heard it on TV and liked it without understanding all the lyrics so came online and checked the lyrics out - quite nice mainly because they seem so real. 'There's no kindness in your eye', 'Your not the person I once knew', ' You made yourself look perfect in every way, So when this goes down, I'm the one that will be blamed'.

Nobody believes me when I tell them that you're out of your mind.
Nobody believes me when I tell them that there's so much you hide.
You treat me like a queen when we go out,
wanna show everyone what our love's about.
All wrapped up in me whenever there is a crowd,
But when no ones around;

There's no kindness in your eyes,
The way you look at me, it's just not right.
I can tell whats going on this time,
Theres a stranger in my life.
You're not the person that I once knew.
Are you scared to let them know it's you?
If they could only see you like I do,
Then they would see a stranger too..

Did I ever do anything that was this cruel to you?
Did I ever make you wonder who was standing in the room?
You made yourself look perfect in every way,
So when this goes down, I'm the one that will be blamed.
Your plan is working so you can just walk away,
Baby your secret's safe.

There's no kindness in your eyes,
The way you look at me, it's just not right.
I can tell whats going on this time,
Theres a stranger in my life.
You're not the person that I once knew.
Are you scared to let them know it's you?
If they could only see you like I do,
Then they would see a stranger too..

Such a long way back, from this place that we are at.
When I think of all the time I've wasted, I could cry..

There's no kindness in your eyes,
The way you look at me, it's just not right.
I can tell whats going on this time,
Theres a stranger in my life.
You're not the person that I once knew.
Are you scared to let them know it's you?
If they could only see you like I do,
Then they would see a stranger too..

There's no kindness in your eyes,
The way you look at me, it's just not right.
I can tell whats going on this time,
Theres a stranger in my life.
You're not the person i once knew.
Are you scared to let them know it's you?
If they could only see you like I do,
Then they would see a stranger too.

The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards...

Happens oh so often

Headaches...

A little too many in my life

Happy Independence Day

To be very honest, while I do say I love India and there is no country like it anywhere in the world, I wouldn't die for this country. I unfortunately am not that patriotic.

Also someone once said to me - 'It's not this country or the city you live in that you love so much, it's your life here. If you had to live somewhere else in this city, forget country, you would see things in a whole new light'. After some contemplation, I realise that the guy was absolutely right. I have so many privileges in my life. If some were taken away from me, I don't think I would love so many things I love right now.

Anyway I think one privilege we all take for granted is our independence. I do not say 'freedom' because freedom has a totally different connotation in my mind. No one can really be free but they can be independent. Living in a Democracy is a big thing. Sure we aren't in the day and age when the state would torture people, take away all their rights, take away their money and property but still being able to fall back upon the thought that we can topple governments collectively is a thought that gives comfort to a lot of us. It may never happen but we at least know we have the right.

Anyway enough of a rant which isn't even sounding good.

I always use to say what is the point of all these days. 'Independence Day' sure as hell doesn't remind me about our struggle for independence, our dead freedom fighters, our marches and our fasts, etc. I wasn't around. I also didn't see life before the independence so I wouldn't realize how much I should be grateful for it. But I still believe that days like this are important to 'celebrate' because we then spend a little time contemplation the struggle, contemplating what life must have been like before, contemplating about those who made sacrifices, etc. We never think about this stuff otherwise.


For me 'Independence Day' does have some significance. It wouldn't if Partition hadn't happened but it did and so much of my community (Sindhi) went through such a tough time. I have heard stories of how people who had tons of money had to come into India and live in refugee camps. Stories of how the 'muslim police' entered houses and threw people out in the middle of the night. Stories of how people feared their life and ran.

It wasn't all bad for everyone though and movie sometimes seem to exaggerate things. I know my granddad was in Pakistan till Jan-Feb of 1948 and lived to tell about it. I also know that the torture, murder, mayhem happened even to muslims in India very close to the new border or those trying to get into Pakistan.

I also end up wondering, especially on independence day, whether having a state is important or not. I see culture, values, tradition, language, etc of my community disappearing and it's sad. Sure I am not big for traditions and cultures but it's such a wrong way to loose them - just because we got scattered all over. Traditions etc should be sieved to take out all that is bad and retain all that is good. They shouldn't just disappear because people aren't practicing them collectively.

I don't speak Sindhi and am quite ashamed of it even though I may joke about it. I still am not clear if I am all for a one language, one culture world. I do see it's merits but we would loose a lot in the bargain. While being part of different communities segregates us, I think it also makes us feel unique and collective to some extent. It makes us feel that the others in the group are just like us. So we feel pride and shame when someone in the group feels the same. We have the same problems. Similar outlook. Similar attitude to certain things.

I don't this it is worth loosing all of this.

So much to do...so much to do...

How many people truly reach their full potential?

Do you know your potential?

Or better still

Do you work to your full potential?

I have a bias but I honestly believe that if you say 'yes' and that too very quickly, you never understood the question.

I also don't believe that a 'yes' would ever be the right answer.

What is the point?...

Don't remember now what the nick was about, but I do remember that I was pissed and also that I did want to blog about it.

And you thought it happens only in India...

A bridge collapsed in Minneapolis, USA....

guilty coward...

Guilt...
I hate the feeling.


I also hate that I feel guilty for things I shouldn't, or things that other people wouldn't feel guilty about.

Most of my guilt stems from not acting when I should have. From not doing something when something needed to be done by those around.

Part of the 'not doing' stems from my aloofness and denial nature, fear and unfortunately also because of my upbringing.

Have always been taught to stay clear of any trouble. Of not to interfere unless I totally had to.

I unfortunately live this way. Just like so many other people to.

I also hate being such a coward. Fear is something I will never have a grip over I think.


Caught a bus to the station today after so many days of travelling in a cab. Nearly got to the stop when the bus driver braked very suddenly. Lot of people try to get off before the stop cause one entrance of the station is before the stop and people prefer getting into the station from there. Anyway apparently the driver didn't have an option cause a taxi suddenly reversed.
So this 50+ year old man who was standing right in the front, hit his head on the front glass of the bus and his head started bleeding. The driver and conductor told him to sit down on the first seat and cover his wound with a handkerchief. Few people were remaining in the bus. Maybe 7 including the conductor. Some people got off the back of the bus and some passed that uncle and got off. I didn't know what to do and since the bus had totally stopped I had to get off but I wanted to help the old man but I didn't want to get involved in it all. So all I did was that while getting off, I asked the man if he was alright (ya how bright is that). Told him that maybe he should go to a hospital and that there was a hospital close by. So he turned to the driver and told him in Marathi to get him till a hospital. I kept thinking maybe I should offer to go with the old man but then another million thought came into my head -

where would the money come from right away if he needed to be admitted (I didn't have enough cash on me nor are my parents in the city)?
which hospital would he have to be taken to?
would there be some amount he would be able to claim for his treatment?
would he have to file a police complaint?
would he have to take out scans since he hit his head?
How would I manage any running around if I had to?
and lots of other questions.

So all I did was turn to the driver (who at least looked stricken - by what I am not sure) and asked if they would see that the man got to a hospital, and the driver said yes they would. I walked away toward the station feeling like hell.

All I could do in the train was feel stricken too - sick to the core that I just walked away. The old man was alone. He definitely could have used some help even if he didn't explicitly need it.

I also couldn't help but think that if we don't help strangers out in their time of need, how can we expect strangers to help us when we need help and no one we know is around.

The worse part of all of this is, that if the same thing happened tomorrow, I think I would walk off again. I would still feel like shit but I wouldn't act.



I hate being a coward and I hate the guilt I feel.

"all men are dogs"-manoj

So the only reason I put 'manoj' there is cause I'm always politically correct and wouldn't say something like 'all men are dogs' even though I know they are :p

[In case you are wondering why 'Manoj' and no one else is because he openly admits it to being the truth lol. And how & when that happens is very funny and worthy of a whole post when I am in the mood]

Anyway I came across a joke which I liked and thought the title was fitting.

Friendship among women:
A woman doesn't come home at night.
The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friends' house.
The man calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know about it.

Friendship among men:
A man doesn't come home at night.
The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friends' house.
The woman calls her husbands' 10 best friends. 8 of them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he's still there.

hey baby jee lene de is pal ko - kal ki sochenge kal ko....

Well don't know how much I follow the whole 'Live for today - worry about tomorrow, tomorrow'.

When I was younger everyone thought I was too serious. Of course I never thought the same. I thought that everyone else was too carefree.

Over the years I don't think I have lost my seriousness though it does seem that way. I think it's the whole 'shit happens, I'll deal with it cause I have to' funda. It's not a mantra for my life obviously because if you can prevent mess ups and uncomfortable situations, then you must. But I have realised that there are things beyond my control.

The funny thing though is that I am not angry at the world anymore. When I was younger, I use to get very upset about issues like the environment, population, unemployment, etc. Now I don't really bother. I don't like this 'who cares' attitude much but I do find myself more at peace. I know in the long run, we are ruining our world because of this 'It's not my problem' attitude but I am just too content at the moment....

61.75%

Yup I passed my MCom Part I exams.

No I am not shocked even though you are.

No I am not giving a party because 62% isn't great.

Yes I do realise that 62% for 2 weeks of non-serious studying is very good but it is still not enough.

No I am not a Post Grad yet and there isn't anything like 1/2 a Post Grad.

Yes I am planning to do Part II.

No I will not study seriously this time around either even though I know I should.

Yes I will post my results of Part II, (if I give my exams), even if I fail.

http://deepalisphotoblog.blogspot.com/

Nothing like a little self promotion.

So a few pictures I totally love. A few are okay okay. A few I haven't even thought of making public.

what a wonderful country we live in...

Cops here are not only corrupt and involved in some of the biggest scams but are also molesters and rapists.

Our army men are also molesters and rapists but also fake killings to get medals.

Hospitals are no more a place to get well but a place to get raped.

We got an 8 year old serial killer. I think we out did the West on this one.

We have pedophile / rapist murderers who are also cannibalistic.

whateva....

Fits every line eh?

tgif...

THANK GOD it's Friday...

Need I say more?

The week has been so hectic, stressful, unproductive...

Gotta love the idea of weekends.

Gaadi Nikalo

Totally loved the dialogue from Life in a Metro -

Mera ek dost hai - uske paas ek nayi gaadi hai jisse usne garage mein 5 saal rakha hai. Pucho kyon...pucho pucho....kyon woh bolta hai ki woh ussi din gaadi nikalega jis din raste ke saar signal green honge.

Konkana says - kya something hai...agar usne gadi nahi nikali toh usse kaise pata chalega ki light green hai ya nahi.

Irrfan Khan says - wohi to wahi toh - gaadi nikalo....

(none)...

I hate when emails don't have subject lines.

A subject line is so cool and more importantly, important. It can help you see check in a second what an email is about, whether it's urgent or not, whether it's a silly forward or a typed out message.

Give your emails a subject line.

It's pouring :'(

I am sure I have already said this but let me re-iterate -

I HATE THE RAINS

Yes it's good for the farmers and nature and temperature and water levels in our lakes and rivers but I still hate the rains.

Thank god it's a Sunday and I am at home.

Though the funniest thing happened. Apparently lightening struck our cable wire and it burnt off and broke into 2, so we have no TV reception.

Kryptonite....

Been listening to the '3 doors down' song with the above title. The song totally rocks.

The term kryptonite is related to superman.

The term used to designate any surviving fragment of the exploded planet Krypton [so original right?], home world of Superman.

There are five distinct varieties of kryptonite (green, red, gold, blue, and white), the first three of which are toxic to Superman.

Green kryptonite, the only variety potentially fatal to Superman [since I am not a fan, I didn't even know there was something that was fatal to superman], induces lassitude and inertia followed by death if not removed in time from Superman's presence.

Red kryptonite inflicts bizarre and unpredictable - albeit temporary and nonfatal - symptoms, as when it divides Superman into twins or transforms him into an infant or a giant ant.

Gold kryptonite would permanently rob Superman of his super-powers were he ever to be exposed to its radiations.

Source


The lyrics of the song -

I took a walk around the world
To ease my troubled mind
I left my body laying somewhere
In the sands of time
But I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon

I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float
To the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be
Something to do with you
I really don’t mind what happens now and then
As long as you’ll be my friend at the end

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be
There a-holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head,
If not for me then you'd be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well,
Will you be there a-holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well, will you be there
Holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
Yeah!!

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well,
Will you be there a-holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
Yeah!!

What the...

So how stupid can someone be?

VERY VERY STUPID.

Last Friday I am walking home from the bus stop and this guy on the street says something to me. I'm thinking it's one of those, I came from out of town, got robbed and have no money left to go back sort of thing. So I didn't understand what the idiot said the first time so I said what and he mumbled something again. So I just said I don't have time and started walking off without knowing what he said. After about 10 steps he over takes me and again says something (I still can't understand what he is saying). So I say I can't understand what you are saying. So guess what? He proclaims his love for me and asks me what I think.

What a dumb ass. If it was a joke or bet or something it's still okay. If he was serious, I think I haven't met a more stupid person in my life. (I had noticed him at the station I get off the evening before too). Anyway I mean this guy was like a low class illiterate from UP or something (no offense intended to anyone). I mean how can anyone like that be retarded enough to even talk to a well educated, very well out South Mumbai girl. I mean it's even alright if you are just saying you are in love, but then asking what I think about that. Jeezzzz how dumb is that.

I am actually pissed that I just walked off. I should have embarrassed the hell out of the guy. Of course there weren't too many people around but still.

Anyway not only am I shocked that the guy was so dumb, I am even pissed that someone can go and say such things to some one.

And yes of course I DO NOT believe in love at first sight. The whole idea is so unbelievable ridiculous.

Anyway I am sure there won't be a next time for something like this, but if there is, the guy is so going to regret thinking of the idea.

3 days to go...

Well and I complete 2 years of work life.

I was always worried that I would never find a job that I would be good at and was so scared at my 'future prospects' after college and especially after 1 year of lukhagiri (giving MBA entrance exams).

Well I am pretty decent at what I do and I do believe that I have qualities that would make it easy for me to at least find a decent job in the future. So I am less worried.


Of course congratulations to my company too - It survived with me in it for so long...

So annoying...

I can't seem to sync my msn nicks on my home and office computer.

Keep checking the properties and everything seems alright, so can't figure what's going on.

'Who says "Nothing is Impossible", I have done nothing in the past few days and believe me IT IS possible...

[Hehe so I got a comment before I could write the post. Anyway finally you commented Sachin. Was wondering if that would ever happen lol. Anyway will continue this post as it would have been Good point though Sachin and maybe some day I will try to write a post about how we sometimes do things without realising we are doing thing and the value of the same]

I hate forwards, not always but most of the time.
Everyone once in a while though, there are some really cool ones that come my way. This line came to me as an SMS and I couldn't help but laugh a little. It's the kind of thing I would say.

Okay fine....I admit it...it's actually the kind of thing I would do - NOTHING :)

That's how life should be man. No pressures, no deadlines, no nonsense (yes I know I would miss it but I would still choose life as a bum over life as a ummm wannabe hot shot executive). Of course I don't believe that living such a life for a long period of time is possible. But they do say 'nothing is impossible'.....

What Clouds...

So apart from lightening and thunder the only other good thing about the monsoons are the clouds. What beautiful colours and formations. Sometimes such great contrast - in size, shape, colour, movement.

Hopefully once I get my camera to work properly, I will put up some pictures on my photo blog.

Also got to see 2 rainbows in 3 days. How cool is that? Got one decent picture of a rainbow too. They are so difficult to capture cause most cameras aren't good enough to get the details.

Well anyway I enjoyed the clouds the last 2 days. Once the rains are here in full force, even seeing the clouds will be too much of a task. Either it will be raining or it will be so dark that it won't matter.

It wasn't a pre-monsoon shower :(

It rained again today. *sob* the monsoons are here *sob*.

I hate the rains.

The only thing that was totally kick ass today was that the day changed from a bright sunny day to dark stormy kind of skies in a matter of 5 minutes. The dark clouds just rolled in so quickly...it was totallyyyyy amazing.

:)

Yay Yay Yay

Yuck Yuck Yuck...

Well so we had pre-monsoon showers on the 31st. Nothing about them seemed like pre-monsoon showers though.

Anyway the yay yay yay is for the thunder and lightning that happened that night.

Yuck yuck yuck was obviously because of the rains and everything being wet and mucky and dirrrrty.

God the rains are going to be so painful.

Btw have I ever mentioned - I hate the rains?

Insomnia...

Fantastic Song - Old but still fantastic

Happy Birthday Amol...

So Amol gets mentioned for obvious reasons on the blog...

[For those who might not know, my tryst with blogging started thanks to Amol (indirectly of course)]

Well Amol (since you will be one of about 2 or 3 people who will actually read this, I might as well write in this manner- I think grammatically it is called first person?), it is good to see that you get new friends and fans as you get older.

Of course like I always say - you should still go by your first instinct :p

Anyway enough of all that. Seriously - have a great year ahead.

R.I.P.

Shraddha
My sister's friend. My friend's sister. My friend.
Totally bindas, always smiling, confident, strong, young....I am sad we couldn't do MCom II together.
You will be missed...

Sadho Re (Yeh Murdo Ka Gaon) by Agnee

The song is brilliant and the video is even more brilliant.

You have to check out this video (one of the best I have seen this year) -



You can also get the video and some information on Agnee at MTV - http://www.mtvindia.com/mtv/music/features/07/04/agnee/index.php

Can't put my finger on why I so totally love the song.

The lyrics are great - even though a lot of people think they are lame or corny. I think Kabir was a great poet and nothing about Sadho Re (the poem) is bad.

I mean just the line Yeh Murdo Ka Gaon has so much impact. I think it very aptly describes us and our world.

The music sounds different which is great.

The video like I said it totally mind blowing. That little girl is so fantastic. The best part of the video is the moment her ice cream falls and she starts crying. It could be that I am reading it wrongly but the man banging into her and making her drop her ice-cream is the final trigger to everything that has built up already inside her with everything around. She wouldn't have cried if something hadn't affected her personally I believe. Which is the case with all of us. We only really act / react when we go through something personally.

Happy Watching!!!

[So the reason I am posting about the song twice is that I realised that people are searching for the song and coming to my blog but since my blog hasn't had a deep crawl that exact post doesn't show up and lots of people find content they aren't interested in]

Yeh Dooriyan

Yeh Dooriyan
Ab hai kahan

Yeh faasle
Na darmiyan

Badla badla sa hai zamana
Khamoshiyan bhi hai gumshuda


The lyrics as I hear them. The song is also called Shakira Ve I think.

[Don't know if it's legal to put up this YouTube video of the song but the video is super cool too. Have a look]



Fantasticcccc song.

?

You gotta pay the price...

If you are going to play a game, you need be careful when makes the moves you know you shouldn't make, because if your strategy back-fires, there will be a heavy price to pay.


The thought came first and then I got a very relevant 'narratable' example. I was watching a TV show a few months after the London train bombing, which revolved around how Muslims were being discriminated against in the UK, etc.
There was this lady who they interviewed. I can't remember details now but she either headed some organisation to safe guard Muslim interests or is a lawyer. They should her speak at a gathering and she stated that ALL of the current day Muslim woes are cause by the British. She named a few places / incidents, the history of which I don't know, and she also named the problems in Kashmir as having their roots seeped in British mistakes.
When I thought about it, she had a point. If the British hadn't followed a 'Divide and Rule' policy, I wonder if Partition would have happened. I have my doubts. So technically she was right. Now imagine if all the Muslims or even just all the fanatical Muslims started to believe this, I think the UK would be the first country to be nuked.

The British followed a strategy to get on top which was wrong - ethically I mean, and I think that some day they are going to pay the price. Till date we (the sub-continent) are paying the price but I think the tables will turn, and then a lot of people will not know where to run.

Anyway I think that doing some thing wrong for whatever reason, is a bad idea, always has been and always will be.

I am the worst 1st class (train) passanger

So I don't think anyone who has a first class pass would want to jump to a second class...but I do.

Why?

Cause today was the second time there were freakin mice running around the compartment. I mean the worst I saw in a second class compartment was a cockroach once in 8 - 9 months. Here I see mice twice on different day within a 2 week period.

So I have a friend who travels by first class and she says she has never seen a mouse in the train and I have another friend who has seen a mouse even in 2nd Class. I think it's pathetic. I mean yuckkkk.

And the worse part is, some of the women on the first day (it was much crowded) were so cool about the whole thing. As if the mice were like their own children running around. I'm assuming seeing mice / rats for some of them is common but it's not common for me and it's not acceptable by me to sit in a compartment where there are these little things running in and out from under the seats.

I sure as hell am not renewing my 1st Class Pass next month. The crowded second class is good enough.

What a waste...

So you want to release your new phone in the market. It's USP you are touting to be 'thump music'. You rope in the guy who is considered the coolest / hottest dancer in the country.

And then....

You give him the most ridiculous dance steps in the ad. Perfect.

I mean everyone else in the ad (Sony Ericcson) has cooler dance steps. The only time I think Hritik was impressive in the ad is when he says at the end of the ad 'The Thump is here'.

He is even dressed horribly.

If all this was purposely done, I can't understand why. It would be a silly strategy.

Yeh Murdoh Ka Gaon...

Sadho Reeeee Yeh Murdo Ka Gaon....yeh murdoh ka gaon.

Fantastic song. It's by a group called Agnee. Never heard of them before. Apparently the song is one of Kabirs. Tried to google it but didn't get relevant results.

If you would like a listen you can go to the bottom of the mtv page talking about the video release and click the 'click here' link.

Shame on us...

We are such a great nation are we not?

Families of 2,823 victims of the 9/11 attacks got 1 million dollars each.
Families of the over 20,000 victims of the Bhopal Gas Leak got 1,250 dollars.
[Figures from Greenpeace]

This post is in no way trying to compare 9/11 and the Bhopal Gas Tragedy. My point is about how we see the value of a life. It is not that the BGT victims couldn't have got more compensation. God knows they should have got more. But we Indians are super ineffectual when it comes to big, important things. All we do is make great speeches....

On the terrace...

So I have the company laptop...and it's with a data card...so I am sitting on my terrace and blogging :D

The technology of today is just marvellous and I believe the best is still to come...

I don't believe in the whole theory of machines taking over etc. While the instinct for survival has always existed and will always exist, I don't believe that for the next couple of centuries at least, we will see AI that will display such a strong survival need that it will start destroying even humans to 'live'. These kind of ideas make for great film scripts but I think that's where it ends.

While learning by seeing (I forget the scientific term - but basically learning behaviour and replicating, historical storage of data so as to adapting to environments etc) will most definitely be the way we program our machines to learn, I don't think you can fill 'evil' into a program / code etc.

www.leelounge.com/forum

This site doesn't exist anymore but I am not killing the post because this post happened on May 1st 2007 when social media wasn't even something people were talking about.

The Lee Lounge Forum

I believe that branded communities and forums are going to be the biggest online sponsorship activities soon.

Communities are big and so is user generated content. People love expression themselves, love believing that what they do is seen by other people and either appreciated or debated.

Yahoo Answers works the same way. Actually Yahoo Answers might be changing the whole search industry. Imagine if you had a super specific query and knew that any resource on the web wouldn't help cause you needed a person solution. What could you do in the past? Nothing much except consult and expert offline and pay him if you really needed the info. Now all you have to do is post a question on Yahoo Answers and you might get just as good a reply from your expert consultant for free.

YouTube is the if you ask me, the most popular user generated content website. I do wonder how long it will remain free and I also wonder what kind of monetization Google will be able to extract from it in terms of advertising revenues. In my opinion, it will always stay free because it being free is what bring it so many visitors and users. More the visitors, more the advertisers will spend.

Sunsilk Gang Of Girls is another example of how a Brand is targeting its Target Audience but in a unique, non boring way. What is interesting though is that they have actually found a new TA thanks to the GoG initiative. Their target is now younger women, who work, spend more on beauty products, etc.

Anyway whats interesting is that you can have a free for all which is on the likes of GOG (with the exception of gender that is) or you can have those on the likes of the Lee Lounge forum that cater to a specific segment of urban youth, interested in fashion, movies, music and everything that's cool.

Idiots

When I meet people who are more stupid than I am, it annoys me rather than making me happy...

When will this work end?...

Never...

She mustn't be more than 7 years old...

The one thing I hate about travelling by train is seeing children (and also old, blind and cripple people) trying to earn some money in the trains.

Lots of kids hop from one train to another trying to sell books, safety pins, rubber bands and anything else that women would buy on the train.

Anyway my nick is for this cute little girl. She mustn't be more than 7 years old. I can't help but think that her life is ruined. It's so sad that her childhood is being lived trying to earn a living.
The same for all the kids doing think. all the kids on the streets, all those working as domestic help. What do they have to look forward to in life? None of them deserve this sort of life. And if they do then none of us (read me) deserve the kind of life we live.

It's sad and I wish things would change.

Happy Birthday foooooooooool...

The foooooool is none other than -

1) our driver in Manila.

2) the woman who insists she is stupid NOW because of me - which I must accept is a very smart excuse (you see I slammed a door shut bang onto her head - ya even I don't know how I am still alive - I think she was too stunned at that moment and then later too much in pain and then later totally affected and therefore wasn't herself. So I guess I just saved myself)

3) mother of one, grandmother of many.

4) the only person who can make me feel guilty as hell and actually DOES it. Lol okay so she's not that nasty but still she is a little evil.

5) one half of the most perverted female duo I know

6) the only woman I know who wants to write about her fan following even though there were only FOUR guys :p

Haha so not everything on this blog is the truth ....

but the above is all true...okay kidding. I do love my life.

Happyyyyy Birthdayyyyy Nisha.

P.S. - I may not know your real age but I do know when you are giving me some bullshit number :p

[Key in case you are reading - getting featured on my blog isn't that tough - you just have to pay me the right amount lol. Well I promise if I don't call you on your birthday I will just call to catch up - which is a lot seeing as how stingy I am]

Woh Anjabee

Whatttttttttttttttt a fab song.

I totally love it.

The music is good.
The lyrics are good.
The singers are decent.
The video isn't bad either.

What more do you need?


Song is from the movie The Train - Some lines must never be crossed. Interesting name I think.

The lyrics -

Waisa koi mujhko mil gaya hai, aisa kiya hai
jisse dekh kar main bhool sari duniya
woh woh woh ajnabi woh ajnabi
jo dekhen door se dekhoon main
usko bhi,o usko bhi ab sab kuch bhool ke
dhadkan dhadkan ya sanson mein
raatein raatein ya khabon mein
sapne sapne koi to hai
yeh bata doon main usse
shaame shaame ya subh ho mein
shaamil shaamil ko har pal mein
har dum har dum woh baaton mein
mere rahi hai kahin woh
woh ajnabi woh ajnabi

The priorities of secondary needs...

Well was reading the Principles of Marketing (and like always ended up only finishing one page) and came across and interesting page thankfully which spoke about how even though we (human beings) have needs, each need is divided into sub-need in a way. And the product a person buys would depends on not only the main need that the product fulfills but also the number of sub-needs that the product can fulfill.

Kotler put down and example of detergents (P & G). While the main aim of any clothes washing soap is to get clothes clean, there are other functions that a detergent can perform. And a prospective buyer looks at these. For instance, some people want fragrance in their detergent. Others look for bleach, while others want fabric softener, others would give a lot of importance to price, etc. Thus depending on what other functions a user would want from a detergent, they would purchase that relevant product from the market.

Thus (at least in my mind this is how I see it) there is a priority of secondary needs that a product must fulfill.

Back to work...

:(

Well so technically I was only off for 7 days from work (12 days including weekends and holidays). And even though I was studying for my exams and not chilling I realised I miss the life of being a bum.

No deadlines, no headaches, no responsibilities, no pressure.
Woke up when I like (though I had to wake up before 7 on the days of my papers)
Slept when I like (though I ended up sleeping around 3 many nights because that's what happens when you study last minute).
Watched TV at odd hours of the day.
Sat around in my PJ's
Sat on my terrace when it was nice and pleasant.
At hot lunch at the dining table.
Sat around alone instead of having 15 people bearing down on me at one time.
Dreamed about my exams being over and me chilling.

Anyway back to the real world tomorrow.

Dead City

Now I don't party so when I talk about a night out it means being on the road after 10.

So anyway I am out for dinner today and the whole place is empty. At least their AC room (udipi restaurant of sorts). And this is around 8:45 which is close to peak time.

We get out at 9:30 and the roads are as good as deserted.

Go to another place to eat (variety is the spice of life) and that place is pretty empty too. And it's a SATURDAY night. So we get out of there at around 10:20 odd and again notice that the roads are so empty.

And I'm thinking to myself that for normal Bombay Saturday nights standards this is like being a Ghost Town.

Dead City....?

Jaane kaise kab kahaan chal pada yeh silsila...

:)

It's a line from a song - Jaine Kaise from Raqeeb

What goes around, comes back around

Oh yeah...


Anyway the nick NOW cause I have been listening to Justin Timberlakes 'What goes around...comes around'. I like it. I'm no die hard fan of Justin Timberlakes but do like some of his songs.