Indians are obsessed about marriages.
I attended a sangeet party last night and about a week ago came to know that a colleague is engaged and will be married sometime this year, and also have a friend who will be married next month. I also got news of school friends (not in touch with them so heard from a friend I happened to bump into) - one of which got engaged this December, another got married a few months ago.
In the next 2 - 3 years, I would have heard of so many more people I know, getting married. I most probably will get invited to some too. And I can't help but think this is soooo wrong.
I mean how can anyone get married because -
1) They are of marriageable age
2) They want to get 'settled down'
3) They want to have children
4) They are lonely and want companionship
5) They won't find a better prospect.
6) They want financial security - and any other security
7) They want their partner to be only theirs.
etc etc etc
Now there is nothing wrong with these reasons if you want to get married period. But people want to get married and be happy too. I mean really if you do something so drastic (life altering), for reasons that are so wrong, then how are you going to he happy?
I believe that people don't even understand what a marriage is. It's not an institution, it's not a spiritual bonding, it's not a way to make someone more loyal. If you ask me what a marriage is, I would tell you in two words what a marriage really is. It is a legal agreement. That's it - nothing more and nothing less. It legitimizes a relationship.
In life you got to the things for the right reasons. And you must understand what is right and what is logical.
What is the right reason to get married? Well I don't know but for me it's none of the above. I think IF I EVER did get married it would be because everyone around me would be forcing me to marry the person I was living in with and I would finally give up to get some peace of mind.
And let me not get started about HOW people get married.
Man soooooo much money spend on a few days worth of rituals and partying. Not cool. I am sure I could go on a world trip, thrice over, with the kind of money spent on some of the weddings I have attended recently.
I understand 'celebrating' and all of that but this is totally insane, especially in todays day and age when people get divorced so quickly.
Anyway we Indians - we will always be obsessed with marriage.
10 comments:
also happens because ppl want to fit into society..
Oh my god Resh, thats brilliant. Don't know how I forgot that one hehe.
Hey feel u missed the mass...thats ok as am speaking from a MCP view...hope u know whats an MCP...whatever...
see...most men, i can asure you, who are around the age of 25 are sexually starved...would be hopefully bored of all the porn stuff(both print and visual), dont have the guts to go to Grant Road (Red Street for n number of reasons including money)& thanks to RR Patil who banned dance bars to make them more frustrated and attend the ceremony of their life..huh...to stop people from raping and molesting the future women and also the present (well... most of them)...
Hence there can be n number of reasons why a man needs a a woman and vice versa...
Believe me its not just about a marriage...
Sankalp
hi i am sankalp's friend and just thought to comment this becoz its interesting, not in the case that this is a fabulous thought u have kept forward but a completely confused statement, thats what i see here,did u get the confusion, in your blog i cant understand if u are against the process which i call a marriage or are you against the rituals done for it or the expenditure...if your reason is the first one i am completely against u, or if it is the second one i vote for u but i think u have to determine it first what u r against there i cant help u but if u r against the first one then i think i have few genuine reasons why i want to get married,... no matter when i marry or how i marry for me marriage is not a paper given by the panchayat or agreement made in front of the so called care takers of culture around me for me yes it is a spiritual bonding between two entities crated entirely different by nature...but r depended on one another for various purpose.i don't have to legitimize a relationship for having one since its between two soles and no one else......
Sankalp Sexual starvation / frustration is a WHOLE different story and something I will not take up in detail on this blog except that I believe marriage is a social phenomenon and sex is a biological one and therefore there should be no relation between them. At least not such a strong one. Anyway that's my point right - you shouldn't get married for only one reason because marriage is SO MUCH BIGGER than just one component. If you only want part of the whole and not the whole, you will end up having to put up with all the stuff you didn't really want. At the end of the day, obviously it's x kgs of shit v/s x kgs of gold and you need to decide what you want. There is nothing wrong in chosing either but no one sees it that way right? You have to do certain things because you are expected to them, which I think is BS. In India we kill individuality. It's always a 'one glove fits all attitude'.
I think if I want to decide that I want to live my life the way I want, I should be able to without people pointing fingers at me and whispering something to each other....
@ Sankalps friend - well I am personally against both.
While I wouldn't go around tell people not to do either, I would prefer people not have super lavish weddings and do something better with that money.
Also there is a big difference between what men go through when they get married and what women go through. Personally I think marriage is a lot easier (and also has more benefits) for men than it is for women.
sorry deepali i think i have to go more globely on this topic...so iam taking this to u r orkut scrap book...
so
first of all i would like to know whats the difference between a male and a female in a marriage both has to suffer according to u and entertain each other according to me through their life
i cant understand y it is esiar for man because we dont have a womb though we kill our self in front of maternity room for hours praying for both of them and if i have to make a choice i go for my beloved instead of some one i have never met....scientist call females higher spices than male when coopered b'coz u carry the future so from centuries we men had fought for u many battles discarding our own ones if u call it only the natures call then i have to admit yes it is the nature's call for the better future not the natures call which he can satisfy in his bathroom or in his bed room alone with his hands ......if not satisfied a few penny will do that...he don't has to get into a life long agreement or legitimize relationship as u say........
let me tell u my friend u r running away from what u r... or else give me solid reason for what u say ..plz don't tell me that u feel so
did u say that we have more benefits than u on marriage then let me tell u one thing.. pity those parent's who has no belief on their children and fill the bags of the beggars in front of them instead of looking for the fittest who will survive this jungle.....dear not every thing is bisuness in life where benefits have the place in the balance sheet.... such one is life .....for me marriage or love...even if it comes through an yellow string which i tie,..is a way of living ...is fealing...something which i can achieve through this is a higher
and intelligent spice than me for mother nature which will change this society according to my thoughts since i don't believe that my words will change the world if so it would have been too earlier b'coz we had so many mahatmas and lot of books before my birth....but my duty is to carry the thoughts to the next gen as much as possible.....
let me challenge u on one more thing as u said in u r blog u say u will marry only because of the pressure around u, so...let me tell u my friend if u believe in what u say fight for it
what i meant globally is i would appreciate if add u r friends for this debate if u like so
I would like to know how many men change their NAME (forget anything else) when they get married...
There is a big difference. A huge difference and it's got nothing to do with nature. It's only got to do with society. I am not even talking about bearing a child. That's not what I was even thinking of.
Sorry I wouldn't discuss something like this on orkut cause it's way too public.
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