[Sorry the post is not as articulate as others might be. It's also too long. I'm not a writer and I'm not writing to bring about a change in the world. I'm a realist and I know change a little more than the next guy. I'm writing to get at least a few people to think. Thank you for reading (if you do)]
People always say look at the bright side of things. I always say look at the real side of things.
There is such a storm of comments, opinions, bashing, etc on social media sites about the Guwahati girl who was molested by a mob on July 10th outside a pub.
People are going to the extent of wanting a death penalty for at least the culprit who has been identified apart from calling him names and cursing him.
And all I feel is sad at the way things are in general. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that people are talking about this incident, are forcing the police to do something, are getting politicians to make statements, etc. But really do people think that, that 17 year old girl is the only one who has gone through something like this?
Yes of course her circumstances were an extreme (I'm still horrified to think no one came forward right away to help her) because it was such a large mob, she was alone and it was on a busy street but there are so many women like her to whom such things (and worst) are happening even as you read.
Why is it that there is only outrage when one sees a YouTube video of the assault? Seeing is believing maybe. Which kind of makes me think that we weren't built right. Why can we only have empathy when something is staring us in the face?
Also while social media platforms make for a great place to voice opinions, why is it that we cannot will ourselves to do more? It so super easy to put up a status update, like a cause page, join a rally, but why is it that we always stop there. Why do we not do more? (And by 'we' I'm definitely not talking about people who are dedicating their lives to making this world a better place but rather the common average person like you and me).
And what about do more? That's still a larger question. The bigger tragedy is that this will be a 'hot topic' for a few weeks (unless the media finds they can juice the story a little more) and then everything will just die down. We will move on to the next topic - which just might be the 12th flop movie of some actor. No one will remember and few will care. Hopefully by then more of the molesters (trying really hard not to put some bad words and keep this 'clean' so please do the same if you decide to comment) will all be caught and our slow judicial system will be wise enough to give them a harsh punishment to avoid another outcry of the sorts that is happening now. But you know what won't die down? It will be the molestation of other women, rapes, domestic violence and as you all know the list goes on.
Of course I'm not delusional so I know these horrendous acts will never totally stop no matter what we do but can't we at least make it known that we condemn and punish such acts. Not just by some 350,000 (random number) comments or tweets or whatever but in our laws, in our justice system, in our police actions. In places where it really matters. In places where it is evident to everyone.
Our biggest action however should be to bring up our children right. Can we really make them understand AND believe respect towards women? Can we make them strong enough not just to understand right and wrong but to try and always choose right? Can mothers stop telling their daughters, in words and in actions, that they (the daughters) are inferiors and men are superior? Can fathers teach respect toward women, both in words and in actions, to their sons? Can we raise children to learn empathy more strongly? Shouldn't we at least try? Don't let your kids get away with bad behaviour. I'm not saying beat them up. Please no. On the contrary talk to them and make them understand that there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. That fun is okay as long as it's not hurting someone else. If you do all this and your kids turn out to be jerks, well then that's just one of the many tragedies of this world.
To all those people who are going on about what a minor was doing at a pub, I have a question for you - don't get happy, it's not 'did she deserve it' - everyone knows what all you people would say to that. My question is how much of a difference would age really make? I don't see a 27 year old women (who would legally be allowed at a pub) saving herself from those (this no cursing is tough) molesters.
Because I spend so much of my time thinking, I asked myself what would I have done had I been outside that pub. Would I have jumped in to save that girl? Honest answer is no. I am a coward and I hate it. I'm always avoiding messy situations. Always finding a way around things to keep life nice and quiet. Therefore I don't pass judgement on people who don't necessarily act but there is always a part of me hoping that there will be people out there who are braver than I am. Who don't think of consequences and inconveniences and just do what needs to be done. However, I keep thinking that I would have supported 40 people if they were fighting with the mob of the 30 molesters. And I know that there might be a lot of people who would do the same so maybe all that is needed is a couple of heroes who will fight for what is right.
In the past we have been shocked at stories like that of Keenan Santos and Reuben Fernandez, who did the right thing but paid the wrong price. Incidents like that scare people from coming forward and helping but really should the burden of helping a victim be on the shoulders of ordinary citizens? What is the police for then? And if we expect ordinary citizens to do extra-ordinary things then how can we make it easier for someone to help? Can we have a faster process of justice so those who come forward to help, don't find themselves tangles up in red tape and legalities. Can culprits be guilty until proven innocent? Can the political system give more support to citizen groups and NGOs? Maybe nothing will be a perfect fix but can't we take baby steps in the right direction?
Not that this might wake a lot of people up (since they aren't seeing anything) but I did dig out some available stats so the extent of the problem at least seems a little larger than it is with this one incident right now.
This means that -
A woman is raped every 24 minutes.
There is a dowry death nearly every hour.
Source - National Crime Records Bureau- http://ncrb.nic.in/CII2010/cii-2010/Chapter%205.pdf
2011 article -
2008 story -
Read more at - http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/Its-official-India-3rd-worst-offender-in-rape-cases/396269/
Read more at - http://www.wikigender.org/index.php/Domestic_Violence_in_India
How about we do a little more than just rant on social media sites?
People always say look at the bright side of things. I always say look at the real side of things.
There is such a storm of comments, opinions, bashing, etc on social media sites about the Guwahati girl who was molested by a mob on July 10th outside a pub.
People are going to the extent of wanting a death penalty for at least the culprit who has been identified apart from calling him names and cursing him.
And all I feel is sad at the way things are in general. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that people are talking about this incident, are forcing the police to do something, are getting politicians to make statements, etc. But really do people think that, that 17 year old girl is the only one who has gone through something like this?
Yes of course her circumstances were an extreme (I'm still horrified to think no one came forward right away to help her) because it was such a large mob, she was alone and it was on a busy street but there are so many women like her to whom such things (and worst) are happening even as you read.
Why is it that there is only outrage when one sees a YouTube video of the assault? Seeing is believing maybe. Which kind of makes me think that we weren't built right. Why can we only have empathy when something is staring us in the face?
Also while social media platforms make for a great place to voice opinions, why is it that we cannot will ourselves to do more? It so super easy to put up a status update, like a cause page, join a rally, but why is it that we always stop there. Why do we not do more? (And by 'we' I'm definitely not talking about people who are dedicating their lives to making this world a better place but rather the common average person like you and me).
And what about do more? That's still a larger question. The bigger tragedy is that this will be a 'hot topic' for a few weeks (unless the media finds they can juice the story a little more) and then everything will just die down. We will move on to the next topic - which just might be the 12th flop movie of some actor. No one will remember and few will care. Hopefully by then more of the molesters (trying really hard not to put some bad words and keep this 'clean' so please do the same if you decide to comment) will all be caught and our slow judicial system will be wise enough to give them a harsh punishment to avoid another outcry of the sorts that is happening now. But you know what won't die down? It will be the molestation of other women, rapes, domestic violence and as you all know the list goes on.
Of course I'm not delusional so I know these horrendous acts will never totally stop no matter what we do but can't we at least make it known that we condemn and punish such acts. Not just by some 350,000 (random number) comments or tweets or whatever but in our laws, in our justice system, in our police actions. In places where it really matters. In places where it is evident to everyone.
Our biggest action however should be to bring up our children right. Can we really make them understand AND believe respect towards women? Can we make them strong enough not just to understand right and wrong but to try and always choose right? Can mothers stop telling their daughters, in words and in actions, that they (the daughters) are inferiors and men are superior? Can fathers teach respect toward women, both in words and in actions, to their sons? Can we raise children to learn empathy more strongly? Shouldn't we at least try? Don't let your kids get away with bad behaviour. I'm not saying beat them up. Please no. On the contrary talk to them and make them understand that there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. That fun is okay as long as it's not hurting someone else. If you do all this and your kids turn out to be jerks, well then that's just one of the many tragedies of this world.
To all those people who are going on about what a minor was doing at a pub, I have a question for you - don't get happy, it's not 'did she deserve it' - everyone knows what all you people would say to that. My question is how much of a difference would age really make? I don't see a 27 year old women (who would legally be allowed at a pub) saving herself from those (this no cursing is tough) molesters.
Because I spend so much of my time thinking, I asked myself what would I have done had I been outside that pub. Would I have jumped in to save that girl? Honest answer is no. I am a coward and I hate it. I'm always avoiding messy situations. Always finding a way around things to keep life nice and quiet. Therefore I don't pass judgement on people who don't necessarily act but there is always a part of me hoping that there will be people out there who are braver than I am. Who don't think of consequences and inconveniences and just do what needs to be done. However, I keep thinking that I would have supported 40 people if they were fighting with the mob of the 30 molesters. And I know that there might be a lot of people who would do the same so maybe all that is needed is a couple of heroes who will fight for what is right.
In the past we have been shocked at stories like that of Keenan Santos and Reuben Fernandez, who did the right thing but paid the wrong price. Incidents like that scare people from coming forward and helping but really should the burden of helping a victim be on the shoulders of ordinary citizens? What is the police for then? And if we expect ordinary citizens to do extra-ordinary things then how can we make it easier for someone to help? Can we have a faster process of justice so those who come forward to help, don't find themselves tangles up in red tape and legalities. Can culprits be guilty until proven innocent? Can the political system give more support to citizen groups and NGOs? Maybe nothing will be a perfect fix but can't we take baby steps in the right direction?
Not that this might wake a lot of people up (since they aren't seeing anything) but I did dig out some available stats so the extent of the problem at least seems a little larger than it is with this one incident right now.
A woman is raped every 24 minutes.
There is a dowry death nearly every hour.
Source - National Crime Records Bureau- http://ncrb.nic.in/CII2010/cii-2010/Chapter%205.pdf
2011 article -
Incidents of rape in the country have increased by a staggering 792% over the past nearly 40 years. This eight-fold increase is way ahead of other serious crime like murder, which increased by 106% robbery (27%) and kidnapping (298%). In fact the rise in rape stands out as the most steep compared to all cognizable crimes, which grew at 134% since 1971.Read more at - http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-11-07/india/30368929_1_major-crimes-cognizable-crimes-crime-statistics
2008 story -
India stands third, leaving behind countries like Sri Lanka, Jordan and Argentina, when it comes to rape cases, latest data of the Union Home Ministry suggest. Ahead of India are only the United States and South Africa.[And if you are going to talk about size of country I don't see China as 2nd or 1st worse offender in rape cases]
Read more at - http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/Its-official-India-3rd-worst-offender-in-rape-cases/396269/
According to reports appearing in the Indian media, there were 8391 reported cases of bride burning in India in 2010, working out to one such incident almost every hour
Read more at - http://www.wikigender.org/index.php/Domestic_Violence_in_India
How about we do a little more than just rant on social media sites?
2 comments:
The Guwahati incident is a really shameful and unfortunate incident. Why no one dared to come forward and help her is something that does not make sense. The one explanation could be that it happened too fast, in a matter of minutes. But the poor girl is going to be haunted for life by those moments :(
Unfortunately, as you have pointed out, incidents like these are not going to go away. But one thing that can definitely change is to reduce the occurrences of such incidences significantly. This can only be achieved by providing high visibility and attention to the culprits, and the people who are helping them hide or escape. And at the same time, ensure a fast judicial process to bring them to justice.
The problem within India is that people have become tuned to not respecting the law. People are always bending rules and getting things done using bribes/contacts, right from the politicians and police, down to the common man.
And the end result of all this is a country where the the rule of law is no longer upheld :(
You are correct about social media. It may well be the new medium of the common man to voice their outrage and ensure justice is served. But at the same time, lets also take steps in following the laws in our daily lives.
Its going to take years, more than a decade to bring such kind of a change where every man will respect women.
I can write a lot on this but I know that its not going to make any difference. Unless the attitude of people in India, everything else will continue to be the usual.
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